Making Mom Friends is Hard

You wouldn't think that once you have children your long term friends will slowly disappear from your life, but if you are anything like me then that is exactly what can happen. I didn't have a lot of

friends throughout high school and college, but there were a few people that I considered close. Some of them still live very close to me, but we don't seem to do very many friend things anymore. Oh sure, we still get together for few and far between play dates, but we just can't seem to connect that often.

It's not that we didn't try. I honestly believe that we all had every intention of keeping in touch and we definitely made time for the big things, weddings, birthdays (not our birthdays of coarse, but the kids) and baby showers. But friendships became awkward after having children because the kids came first in every scenario. Before having my little angels, I had always thought that my close friends would be the kind that we could babysit for each other or get lunch together on our work breaks, go out for coffee or walks on the weekend...those kind of things

But that's not what happened. None of our schedules are the same, some of us live far away, and also we all have vastly different parenting styles. I would say over my adolescence and early twenties I had at least four close friends, and not one of them has ever babysat one of my kids. It's almost an unspoken understanding that none of us really trust the each other with our kids or maybe we all think it's just too much to ask. Occasionally one of us will offer, but it doesn't feel like a real offer because we all know how hard it is to be constantly on with our own, let alone someone else's kids.

So I find myself almost thirty five years old and even though I am never alone, I am lonely. I have a wonderful family and co-workers, my husband is my best friend and I spend my days making small talk at the office or watching my kids grow and learn. I am busy and overwhelmed and I have somehow lost the ability to make and maintain friendships.

So how do you make mom friends? This article is not like a "how to". I'm out here asking you all.

Not all hope is lost for me though. When my oldest son started school, I went to the "pre-school round up" and saw a woman about my age with her son. I almost recognized her as someone who might have gone to my high school. After we left my husband told me that he used to work with her at the hospital when he was a nurse aide. Later that week she actually found me on Facebook and sent a friend request.

I messaged her "Hi" with a little wavy hand emoji, and then we slowly started a messaging conversation that lead to a playdate! Success! I had made a new mom friend! I found out that she only lived like a block away from me and she had three kids all the same ages as mine! Over the rest of the summer we got our kids together a few times and the kids really seemed to hit it off.

Our boys are now in kindergarten together and I have hopes that they will be good friends throughout grade school. I have also attempted to volunteer at my son school in the hopes of meeting some of the other parents and getting to know the other kids in my son's class. Maybe if I just start showing up a lot at the school I'll start to form new friendships.

So if you are feeling like making mom friends is hard. I would agree with you, and maybe we should be friends.